Did You Know?

forget me not series 2 – The Romance of Ayin & Will

CHAPTER TWO

It is often said that patience is a virtue.

As much as we would like to know, there are times when the universe is silent and we aren’t given answers to our burning questions at the moment we want them.

Sometimes, an answer lands on our lap when we least expect it. And other times, like scientists, the right answer appears much later after many tries or experiments.

When it comes to new romantic relationships, people are particularly antsy about questions and answers.

What’s our label? Are we just friends with benefits or exclusively dating? Is he The One? How different are we? Where is this relationship going?

Some couples are lucky to find early answers, allowing them to advance to more difficult questions in cultivating their relationship. While others break up before they even manage to answer the most basic one – what’s our label?

Then there are the peculiar ones who prefer not to ask questions in their relationship at all. They prefer no labels, no commitment and no foundation to keep them grounded. Maybe it works. But for how long — only time will tell.

For those who like to think long term, however, questions are inevitable. After all, putting one’s heart on the line remains to be one of the most daunting things humans ever had to do in their lifetime. Just like investing all your personal savings in just one specific venture, the risk is quite high. Hence, one’s heart won’t be settled till it hears answers from Ahh to Zzz. How long it takes – only time will tell.

In relationships, you’ll find there is no specific formula or right answer to common questions. There are just too many variables. So it’s up to every couple to ask and work their way through creative solutions to uncover truths at their own time.

For Ayin and Will, it took them several long drives to put forward some of their questions and find answers in each other.

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On the days following their first date, Ayin and Will met almost everyday.

Ayin had about two weeks left before she started on her new job and she decided to make use of the time to focus on getting to know her man better.

She discovered that the best place to get Will to talk a lot was inside a moving car, especially on a long drive.

American writer Mark Twain once said that there is no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.

Ayin and Will found this to be true. Given their original relationship, it was just natural that they learned more about each other’s quirks on a series of long drives.

It all started because of a lecture.

Will told her, “You need to build your confidence on the road. You can’t maintain your low speed forever. You see those speed signs on the road? They don’t only mean maximum road speed, but minimum as well. So, when it says 60, you can’t drive at 30 or 40, you must be around 60.”

He wasn’t finished. “A long drive will also teach you about adjusting to different road conditions – smooth, rough, bumpy, under construction and all that. Be it rain or shine, you will learn how to manage your driving.”

And so, their consequent dates consisted of just that – long drives, with her on the wheel.

Like most people in the early stages of a relationship, they were all about the questions.

Aside from the fact that they were genuinely curious about each other, they were also trying to figure out if dating each other made sense. Asking questions gave them insights to their communication style, personal preferences and values to see if they clicked.

There were questions that were easy to ask, and others that took time to form. And sometimes, their specific question became an answer to another.

Her, “Hey, why does it always have to be on a long drive when we go out on a date? Don’t you like going to the movies like normal people? The new Star Wars is showing.”

Him, “I know, I’ve been waiting for that. But don’t you think this is better than a movie? It’s longer time spent with you and there’s a slim chance of getting called back to the office since we’re out of town. But I can do normal, I’m flexible. Do you like normal?”

She smiled, her heart beating fast.

His question just revealed to her an answer every girl in a new relationship often wondered.

How much did he like her?

Apparently, at this point, more than the new Star Wars movie.

And Master Yoda be like… Normal, you are not. Brighter than the stars, you are.

She answered him, “Normal or not, what I like is wherever you are.”

Along the way, on their many road trips, they developed their own personal game of “Did You Know?” — a steady banter in the form of roundabout questioning, albeit grammatically lopsided at times, meant to reveal their answers and impressions of each other before they could ask.

One time, while driving to Balamban, they passed by the mountains of Busay, when suddenly she was reminded of a question she had wanted to ask a long time ago.

Her, “Did you know, after our last class, I checked out your Facebook to see if you were still alive? You didn’t contact me for a week.”

Will found out that the best way to answer some of Ayin’s questions was through another question.

Him, “Did you know I was just waiting for your call? I already offered to take you to a long drive. I thought you weren’t interested.”

Her, “Guess what I saw on your FB”

He thought for a moment and then, “Ah, that.”

Yes, that tagged photo of him with the pretty girls.

She impatiently tapped the steering wheel when he said nothing else.

Him, chuckling, “A friend of mine was courting one of the girls. I was there as his wingman.”

Her, eyebrows raised, “Oh, so it was a double date.”

Him, “Not really. I just accompanied him. He wanted me to keep the other girl — also his girl’s chaperone — occupied so he could talk to her freely.”

She said nothing.

Him, “Actually, it was no big deal. Did you know that I already had my eye on you then?”

She finally smiled. “Took you long enough to tell me.”

True enough, the right questions and answers can often make or break any new relationship. As they found out, reducing uncertainties through disclosures helps in establishing trust.

Just like sharing their truths increased intimacy. Ayin realized that the easiest way to get Will’s answers was to give her own.

One day, they drove to Carmen where they stopped over at the plaza for some ‘dirty’ ice cream (locally sold in push carts).

Her, “Did you know that you had me when you first invited me out for coffee?”

His eyes lit up. “Really?”

She scowled at him. “Then you bailed.”

He chuckled. “Gave the office hell for that. What could I do? Duty called.”

Him, “Did you know I already liked you since the first time I saw you?”

Startled, she looked at him. “That early?”

Him, “Why do you think I enrolled at the gym? I only ever went there once.”

She shook her head at him in wonder. “You’re crazy.”

Him, chuckling, “Did you know, after your first class, I threatened my secretary to fire her if she gave your classes to someone else?”

Her, almost choking on her ice cream, “So it wasn’t because of my request?”

Him, “Nope.”

Her, “Bugoy.”

Then wanting to hear more, she sweetly asked him, “So… what did you like about me? I’m sure it wasn’t the way I looked, I did not dress up for that meeting.”

He turned to look at her for a moment and told her, “Did you know you have beautiful eyes?”

Just then her heart, along with the ice cream, melted as they kissed under the Carmen sun.

And then, there are impertinent questions you throw just to test each other’s patience and boundaries.

One time, driving down South, while learning to navigate her way through narrow roads and monster trucks on their way to Carcar for lechon (roasted pork)…

Him, “Did you know that you curse worse than the tambays at our village when driving?

Her, “Did you know that you’re more annoying than my brother?

Then on another day, further down south:

Her, “Did you know I just drove about a hundred kilometers for 4 hrs straight to get here in Moalboal?”

She threw him a smug look and declared, “I’m now, officially, a regular driver.”

Him, “Did you know it would have taken only 3 hours if you didn’t stop by again for chicharon at Carcar?”

Knowing he was right, she didn’t answer. Instead, she pinched his earlobe.

Laughing, he said, “Did you know that always makes me tingle? That first time in the car during your parking session…”

He shook his head at the memory. Then firmly he told her, “You should never do that to anyone else but me.”

Her, “Of course. I only do that to someone I’m tagging as mine.”

He grinned. “Ah. In that case… pinch me, I’m yours.”

In relationships, cultivating the fine art of asking questions keeps communication lines open. It helps deepen connection with your significant other in a meaningful way.

On a rainy day, they stopped by at a newly-discovered beach resort in Compostela for a couple of beers by the sea.

Her, “Did you know that once, I dreamed about your name? Not you, but your name. I’m not superstitious but it’s so odd actually meeting someone with the same strange name in real life.

Her, “Did you know I believe in destiny?”

They sipped their beers.

Her, looking out to the dancing sea waves and white caps, “Did you know, that night we went out on Valentine’s, you danced so weirdly just like my father?

Him, “Did you know when I knew for sure we were meant for each other? Also that night when I saw you dance even worse than me.”

They laughed.

After a moment, he looked at her. “Hey, I’m curious. About that kiss…”

Cheekily, she asked, “Which one?”

Him, “The first one. I’ve always wondered what would have happened if you didn’t like it.”

Her, “Hm. I don’t think I would have said yes…”

When she saw him frown, she quickly added, “…right away.”

He continued to narrow his eyes at her.

She giggled. “What? I’m just being honest. Call it shallow, but a kiss does matter.”

Him, “Hm.”

Her, “Really. You should never be with someone if there’s no magic at all.”

Suddenly, he reached out and kissed her on the lips. “How about that?”

She smiled at him widely, “Still got it.”

He chuckled.

They continued drinking their beers, staring out at sea.

They stayed that way for a long time in companionable silence.

Not that they were done with their questions and answers.

In fact, there were still the bigger questions that were too early to answer or they were afraid to ask…

How long will the magic last for them?

When the honeymoon phase gives way to reality, would they still work it out?

What is their relationship deal-breaker? What turns them off?

As they get to know each other better, will they be able to accept not just the light, but each others’ darkness as well — the bad, the weird and the ugly?

In terms of the future, they were still a big question mark.

There were no sure answers.

For some questions, you can only wait and see.

Yes, patience is indeed a virtue.

And it takes a lot of faith and persistence to believe in something quite unclear. Something like a new relationship.

But uncertain as they were about the future, in that moment, one thing they were sure of — they had enough gas in their tank to travel to their next destination.

It took Ayin and Will about a thousand kilometers on the road to lay down their earlier questions and find their answers.

But they also knew that, as they continue to drive on this long road called a relationship, even more questions, and probably some answers, too, are yet to come.

The important thing was to carry on with the dialogue as they drive to ensure they were going in the same life direction.

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