She’s The One

forget me not series 2 – The Romance of Ayin & Will

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

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He lost her.

By the time Will settled their dinner bill and ran after Ayin from the restaurant to the parking lot, her car was no longer there.

The image of her pale, dazed look, after he confirmed it was over between them, flashed in his mind.

Damn it. She was in no condition to drive. It worried him.

Quickly, he dialed her number. As expected, she did not pick up.

He tried again, and again, and again.

Thirty minutes later, still no response.

Will exited from the mall and hailed a taxi. He gave the driver her address.

Stupid rush hour, he thought. It was taking them too long.

When finally, they neared her place, he asked the driver to slow down and peeked at her garage.

Her car wasn’t there, either.

Where could she be?

When he didn’t get out, the driver asked, “Where to next?”

Will told him to proceed to his office address.

He closed his eyes and dropped his head back.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

What has he done? How could he have said that to her?

When she slapped his hand like she couldn’t bear his touch and quickly ran away from him, it was like having a bucket of cold water splashed on his face.

He came to his senses. It dawned on him that he never really wanted her to leave.

He didn’t mean it. It was his anger talking.

He wanted to kick himself.

Damn it, he hurt her.

What if she was driving recklessly right now? He knew she could get quite emotional sometimes. What if she got into an accident?

He felt a lurch in his belly at the thought. No, he didn’t even want to think about it. He rubbed his fingers on his temple to make the image go away.

When Will reached his office, he was relieved to see the lights still open. It meant his secretary Grace was still there.

He knew Grace has been doing overtime ever since he stopped going regularly to the office.

He encouraged her by transferring his large TV there so she could watch her primetime drama series while encoding the day’s data. He knew Ayin often came to supervise her.

Ayin wasn’t picking up his calls but maybe she would answer to Grace’s.

Will, “Grace, call Ayin. Ask her where she is.”

Grace looked up and gave him a weird look. “Weren’t you just with her?”

Will sighed loudly. Why did Grace always have to question every single command?

But he needed her help, so he tried to explain, “We had a fight.”

He couldn’t bring himself to say that they broke up.

“And now, she’s not picking up my calls. She’s not at home either. I’m worried she might be in trouble somewhere… So call. Call her now.”

Grace, “Oh, okay.”

Grace dialed. After the third try, she said, “It just keeps ringing.”

“Keep calling.”

After the 5th round …

Grace, “Maybe she left her phone.”

A cold, hard knot began to form in his stomach. He paced the office restlessly.

“No, it wasn’t on the table. It’s with her. Call her again. Tell her you need help with what you’re doing or something. Just get her here at the office.”

After several more unattended rings, Grace finally said, “I’ll try again after 30 minutes. Maybe she’s driving.”

Will didn’t answer. Frustration ate at him but he knew there was nothing Grace could do at the moment.

He went to his desk and opened his computer. He clicked on his game to give his mind something else to focus on.

Not knowing where she was was driving him crazy.

Where did that woman go? It was already late.

The office wall clock mocked him with its hands pointing at a mere 8 pm. He scowled at it. So what?  

She should be here or home by now.

When 15 minutes passed, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He started pacing again.

“Grace. Call her again. Now.”

After the third try, Ayin finally picked up. Grace gave Will a thumbs-up sign.

Ayin, “Grace, why so many calls? Did something happen to Will?”

Grace, “No, he’s here at the office. He wants me to ask you where you are.”

Silence on the other end. Grace thought they got disconnected.

“Hello? Ms. Ayin..? Hello?

Will gestured to Grace to give him the phone. Grace passed it to him.

Will, “Hello?”

This time, the line clicked.

Damn it, the woman wouldn’t talk to him.

Scowling, he passed the phone back to Grace, “Call her again.”

On the tenth ring, Ayin picked up but didn’t say anything.

“Hello? Ms. Ayin? Are you there? Sir Will wants to know where you are.”

Grace could hear a loud sigh on the other end.

Will gestured at Grace again and pointed to her computer.

Hesitantly, Grace added, “And also, uh… I need your help with the new spreadsheet. Is it okay for you to come to the office and help me?”

Grace was terrible at lying.

Ayin, “Yeah, right. Did he tell you to say that?”

Grace, “Um…”

Ayin, “Just tell him I’m home already. And Grace?”

Grace, “Yes?”

Ayin, “Tell him to stop calling. We already broke up. We have nothing to say to each other.”

Grace, “Um, okay.”

Ayin, “Bye.”

When Grace put down the phone, Will immediately prompted her.

Will, “So? What did she say?”

Grace, “Well, the good news is nothing happened to her. She’s already at home.”

Will, “And?”

Grace, “The bad news – she said to tell you to stop calling her. That you already broke up and have nothing to say to each other.”

Will fell silent.  

He knew breaking up was his idea, but… That’s it? She wasn’t even going to fight him? She’s already freezing him out?

Like he couldn’t believe it, he asked, “She really said that? Word for word?

Grace nodded.

Will went back to his desk and stared blankly at his game. Was it really over?

After awhile, he turned his computer off numbly and stood up to leave.

Will, “I’m going. You should go home, too.”

Grace nodded, “After this drama.”

Will, “Be sure to lock up when you leave.”

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When Will entered his room, he only turned on the night lamp.

He took off his shoes and, still fully clothed, lay on the bed and just stared up the ceiling.

He realized he made a mistake. Huge. Another one after he allowed himself to be double crossed by friends. But this time, it was worse.

Funny how, when faced with the reality of losing Ayin, all of his other issues suddenly seemed so small.

Thoughts of betrayal and revenge now seemed so useless. What for, when all at once, his life felt so empty?

Where was his anger? It was way better than dealing with this cold, bitter taste of fear.  

He dropped his throbbing head on his hands. He shouldn’t have said those words. He should apologize and get her back.

But what if she’s fed up with him and doesn’t want him anymore? He left her alone too long the past weeks.

The words she told Grace tortured him. It seemed like she really believed they were done.

He tried to imagine not seeing Ayin anymore. Of having a future without her by his side.

It scared him. And pained him so much that hot tears burned his eyes.

It’s like free falling in a car you know is about to crash and burn in a valley. And in that infinite moment before it reaches rock bottom, suddenly the life you never had flashes before your eyes like a slideshow on Facebook Memories — like of him and Ayin working together as business partners, of them building a family, of bickering and making up as they grow old together.

He trembled as he realized that with a few careless clicks, he just deleted it all away from his Timeline.

He grabbed a pillow and sobbed.

The pain was incomparable. It was like a thousand little men were hammering and melting metal in his insides.

In all his life, this was his first time to cry over a breakup. He’s not doing this again ever. Not with her. That is, if he gets her back.

He has to apologize. She has to know how sorry he was to hurt her.

And she’d better forgive him, too, he thought fiercely. She’s not allowed to change her mind about him. It’s only been one night, damn it.

She told him he was hers. She has to take him back.

Never mind that he’s careless and stupid. A man is allowed mistakes, right?  

He’s not losing her. He has to convince her it’s worth taking him back.

With the thought of this new mission, Will calmed down a bit.

She can have tonight, he figured. Let her cool her anger. Tomorrow, he’ll start his campaign.

He’ll get her back, he told himself. He has to.

For, in a world of betrayal and lies, he just realized his one truth – he loves her.

He loves her alright. Even if he was chagrined to find that the woman he fell for was actually so mean.

When did she get this heart of ice? How could she cut him off so easily? She didn’t even want to hear from him now like losing him was just fine.

Unconsciously, he rubbed a hand over his broken heart. Ayin may not be the first woman to pitch a tent in his heart, but upon breaking camp, she’s the first one ever to retreat with enough power and ammunition to successfully ignite and bomb it all to pieces.

It hurt like hell.

In a way, she’s the Harley Quinn to his Joker.

So he knew then…

She’s The One.

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Will wasn’t able to sleep all night so, uncharacteristically, he was at the office before sunrise the next day.  

To keep his mind busy while waiting for the right hour to contact Ayin, he updated himself with the office files and journals he missed the past weeks.

By 7 am, he sent the first message:

I’m sorry. I made a mistake.

No response.

By and by, the instructors started coming in for the morning classes. Surprised to see him, some gathered round his table to briefly chat about their concerns and student updates.

It felt good to be back in the loop, Will thought.

By 8:30 am, he resent the message. Maybe she didn’t get it or was busy on her way to the office. She should be done driving to the resort by now.

Then he played his World of Tanks as he tried to calm his nerves while waiting for her reply.

By 10 am, he sent another message, this time one that would require a reply.

I didn’t mean to break up. Can we talk?

By lunchtime, he wondered if she was getting his messages. He was tempted to call but he knew she didn’t like personal calls at work. Besides, he knew she wouldn’t answer it anyway.

He decided to use Facebook messenger instead.

He tried again:

I’m sorry I hurt you. I don’t want to break up. Can we talk?

Then another:

I got back to work. I promise to focus and work on our future now. No more distractions.

And then:

I’m not breaking up with you. I know I messed up. Forgive me. Let’s talk. Can I see you later?

These were the longest messages that Will ever sent to Ayin. With his penchant for one or two-word texts or replies, these recent spurts were akin to a one-page love letter.

That afternoon, Will readily accepted a driving class and expected that when he’s done, he’d already have a reply from her.

But then, by 6pm, there was none still.

He noted though that she has read the messages.

Has he just been Seen-Zoned? Was the woman really that mean?

He dropped his phone on his desk with a clatter. It was the latest Samsung model and he didn’t care.

He scowled at it.

With all these phone upgrades, the latest apps and technology he was trying to learn and buy into — all promising better communication and connection — well, he certainly wasn’t feeling any of it now.

All bogus. Useless. False advertising.

Or so he thought crossly.  

He couldn’t get through the woman. What ‘easier reach’ or ‘faster connection’ were they talking about? He was one disillusioned client.

He went outside and lit a cigarette to think.

It’s been 24 hours since his first call after she ran away from the restaurant, and 12 hours since his first text message today. But who’s counting?

Maybe words are useless.

Or maybe it’s because words become mute or lost in translation when processed through all this useless mobile technology. He shouldn’t have relied on any of it.

When it comes to an important matter like getting your girl back, he should have known better that “actions speak louder than words.”

He will go to her house tonight and see her, he decided.

Resolute, he turned to get the car key and was about to leave when suddenly his phone pinged.

Yes! It was her. Finally.

Hopeful heart thudding, he opened the message:

No. I don’t want to see you. 

His face clouded as he closed his eyes in frustration.

He gripped and almost threw it then and there.

Yep, he hated mobile phones.

---

The next day, Will tried his best to give Ayin space. He figured that giving her until lunchtime was already generous of him.

He decided to go to her office at Mactan Island that day. Even if that meant breaking one of her damned rules: No visiting during work hours unless invited.

They needed to talk. His apology couldn’t wait any longer. He needed to see her, face to face, to convince her that he has no intention whatsoever of letting her go.

He was afraid that the longer they’re apart, the harder it would be to get her back.

But, but… what if she was traveling today, or in a meeting, or so pissed about the unexpected visit that she refused to see him?

He sighed. As a buffer, he reluctantly sent her a message in advance:

On my way to your office. See you.

Go ahead, don’t reply, he thought with a smirk. Everyone knows that silence means yes.

But she did, immediately, which caused him another bout of frustration.

All she said was: No.

He texted back: When? Give me something before I go out of my mind.

She took her sweet time answering:

Saturday. UCC Ayala. 6pm.

He breathed a huge sigh of relief.

Okay, that’s two days away. He could live with that, he thought.

He deserved to suffer until then.

Then he wondered, why UCC? Just coffee, no dinner?

They usually have coffee after dinner and not vice versa.

Did she plan on making it a short talk and then leave?

Again, that cold hard knot of fear.

He shook his head to clear it. He’ll take what he can get. At least, she’s willing to see him.

Then he remembered that UCC also served food. His heart rejoiced.

He was so happy, he needed no more words. He went back to his one-word replies and sent:

Copy.

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For the next two days, Will threw himself at work.

He figured that the best way to prove he was serious about  her, was to put himself back on track and build that future with her as promised.

Yet no matter how busy he was, he kept counting the hours till Saturday.

When the day finally came, he strolled inside UCC a few minutes before the agreed 6pm.

To his surprise, Ayin was already seated at a corner booth sipping on a single cup of black coffee.

No food, he noted.

He sat down on the opposite side and managed to stop himself from reaching for her.

God, he missed her.

He searched her face, but couldn’t read it.

To give himself time to settle his pounding heart, he asked for the menu.

Him, “Did you order food?”

She shook her head. “I’m not hungry.”

Uh-oh. Bad sign.

He replied, “I am. I’ll order for you.”

Before she could protest, he ordered her favorite Japanese set and pork chops for him.

He knew it takes at least thirty minutes for them to prepare the food here. He has time.

He poured himself a glass of complimentary lemon water from the pitcher and drank it bottoms up.

Then he faced her. She was so quiet it made him nervous.

Finally, he asked, “Are you still mad at me?”

She shrugged and continued sipping her coffee.

Him, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I hurt you. I regret what I said. I don’t want to break up.”

Her, “I know. I read all your messages.”

Him, “Do you forgive me?”

She didn’t answer and just stared at her coffee for what seemed like a very long minute.

Then she lifted her eyes to him and solemnly nodded.

Will let out a huge sigh of relief.

Cautiously, he clarified, “So we’re back together?”

She shrugged again.

He took that as an affirmative and whooped. “Yes!”

A small smile played on her lips. “You had me at the first ‘I’m sorry’.”

Him, “You mean my first text message?”

Her, “Yes.”

Him, “Then why didn’t you reply or agree to see me? I was afraid all week you’ve really given me up.”

Her, “I was angry. When you made the effort to get back, I knew it wasn’t quits, but I was still angry. I wasn’t ready to face you.”

Will nodded in understanding.

Her, “And of course, I wanted you to suffer.”

He nodded again. “I deserve it.”

Her, “You hurt me.”

Him, “I know. I’m sorry.”

Her, “I never thought you’d give me up that easily. You chose them over me.”

Him, “I wasn’t myself.”

Her, “Well, what if that happens again? You were so cold to me. You were like a stranger.”

Ayin shuddered as she remembered. “I don’t want to go back to that.”

Then shaking her head, backtracked, “You know what — I think I need to reconsider this some more … Give ourselves space to think about what we really want…”

No way. Didn’t she just agree to get back together? He’s not losing her again.

This woman could really be so mean.

He shook his head.

Her, torn, “If we could just…”

Him, almost shouting, “No, you can’t. I love you!”

The second after he said it, Will winced in embarrassment. “Aw, shucks.”

That sounded so lame. It felt so weird saying it.

Yet, freeing at the same time.

But there, he said it. There’s no going back.

Him, calmer this time, “I love you. I’m not going back to that dark place. I’ve let go of my revenge. It’s nothing compared to losing you or what we have right now. I want to build a life with you. I meant it when I said I just want to focus on our future now. I love you.”

He looked at her, waiting for her response.

Silence stretched.

She looked like she was on the verge of laughing or crying. Which was it?

Why wasn’t she saying the words back?

His heart thudded. So many seconds have passed. Didn’t she love him, too?

Then slowly, her face broke into a smile, her beautiful eyes brimming with tears.

It wasn’t quite what he expected, but she looked happy enough when she said it…

Her only verbal response to his loud ‘I love you’ was…

“Thank God!”

And then, before he could decide how he felt about that, she went around the table to his side and hugged him.

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